Averting the Crisis

I realized recently that I’ve sort of been in mourning as my 12-year-old — my baby— doesn’t really need me anymore. The 16yo is fairly self-sufficient and the 19yo is a one-man show. The oldest boy is on the cusp of turning twenty-one and is planning a wedding with his bride-to-be.
Tie all of the above in with a husband who formerly was gone 12 hours a day, 5 days a week but is now around almost 24/7, telling me to get off the bleeping computer has retired and is now doing most of the cooking along with part of the shopping, and you have a midlife crisis for a Stay-At-Home-Mom.

Also? We don’t even have crocuses popping up through the ground yet. This picture was taken last April in our yard in Virginia.

So… here are five things I am doing to get myself over this hill (because at 46, there is no doubt that I have gone as far to the top as possible):

1.  Signing up for every retreat that comes my way that I can possibly afford. Last weekend was a 72-hour (3 days, 3 nights) scrapboooking retreat. Coming up in April: Moms’ Weekend at my kids’ university, 3 days and 2 precious nights away on my [almost] annual Girls’ Weekend, and even a weekend with my MIL and all 3 of my husband’s sisters (for my MIL’s women’s church retreat).

2.  Yoga with my new DVD friend Suzanne Deason. My dh picked it up at Mom’s house when we were cleaning out/going through STUFF. I don’t know if she ever even watched it, let alone try it. But I’m finding it helpful.

3.  Getting active and losing weight . Even though I have plateaued recently (as in, for the past 2 frustrating months, please pass the chocolate!) I do feel better just by doing daily yoga and moving more. My feet disagree, but there are NSAIDs for that. 

4.  Getting a referral to a podiatrist. While this resonates with “old lady” for me, I can’t ignore my feet any longer. They hurt. I’ve had varying difficulties with plantar fasciitis for almost 8 years now. I put off asking for a referral for years; now I’m actually looking forward to my appointment!

5.  Having my hair cut by a professional — it’s been 2 years since I went to a salon to have my hair done, but that omission was corrected on Tuesday afternoon. Same basic style as I’ve had for years (I don’t like change, I’ve had enough of that lately as it is) but it sure feels nice! 


averting  present participle of a·vert (Verb)
Turn away (one’s eyes or thoughts): “she averted her eyes during the more violent scenes”.
Prevent or ward off (an undesirable occurrence): “talks failed to avert a rail strike”.

11 thoughts on “Averting the Crisis

  1. as a youngish lady with very old lady feet, i like to think that podiatrists are a “normal” doctor that EVERYONE goes to. no? normal 25 yr olds do not have bunion surgery? please allow me to bask in that illusion while my now-31-yr-old feet continue to hurt 😉

  2. I’m in the process of reinventing myself too. My youngest just turned 17 and I need to branch out. I’m taking a class and am also looking for a part-time job. I need to get out of the house more and stop doing all these household tasks that other members of my family should do. I think I’m trying to justify my existence by doing everyone’s laundry and cleaning the kids’ bathroom. ENOUGH!

  3. I have not yet experienced a child moving beyond this stage of need (my only is 11). I do work full time at a job I really enjoy, which might mean less of a hole. However, I’m always amazed at how I want to do so many things when I don’t have the time, and then when I do have the time, those things suddenly seem less interesting and the time seems empty. Also, there is a satisfaction associated with doing for other people (even our kids!), different from enjoying a hobby.

    At 48, however, I have to admit that right now I’d welcome a little more time to spend on me 🙂

  4. The picture form last year is reflective of how things are shaping up here in Virginia already this warm March. Can’t wait to see how Washington State looks like when spring finallyncomes to you out there. As for your feet, karen…after bunion and hammer toe surgery this past January and finally getting out of a surgical shoe this week, it can only get better.

  5. Yoga is a good exercise, sadly one I can no longer do, well, most of it anyway. Can’t bend my hip past 90 degrees after all. (I do sometimes though – sshhh) Retreats are a good way to get a break from the everyday. Arch supports take a bit of getting used to but your feet will thank you and these days, I am beginning to think nothing is “old lady” fodder unless you want it to be.

  6. I love yoga so much. My current situation with my daughter means I’m skipping my three times a week yoga and Pilates–I don’t mind, but I do miss it.

    I start working full-time for the first time in 24 years on Wednesday. That will be a mid-life change for sure.

  7. I just got my hair cut, pretty short for how long it was, this weekend! A bit more reddish of a color too 🙂 Woohoo! Dave loved it…I was a bit surprised but it’s good to be surprised sometimes! His grandson, Isaiah, said it looked like Reba’s cut LOL!

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