Are Men Just Happier People?

Happier? I don’t know about that, but they definitely have an easier life than a woman. Don’t believe me? Check all that apply:

  • Your last name stays put.
  • The garage is all yours.
  • Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  • Chocolate is just another snack.
  • You can never be pregnant.
  • You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
  • You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
  • Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  • The world is your urinal.
  • You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
  • You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  • Same work, more pay.
  • Wrinkles add character.
  • Gray hair makes you look distinguished.
  • Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. **
  • People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
  • New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  • One mood all the time.
  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  • You know stuff about tanks.
  • A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  • You can open all your own jars.
  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  • If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
  • Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  • You almost never have strap problems in public.
  • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  • Everything on your face stays its original color.
  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
  • You only have to shave your face and neck.
  • You can play with toys all your life.
  • One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
  • You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
  • You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
  • You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache and/or a beard.
  • You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 25 minutes.

Yep, men have it easier than women!

More Gender inequalities:

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

 MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.*

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

*Unless he is a tightwad (and I say tightwad with affection, ala Amy Dacyczyn) – in which case, he will only spend 25-50 cents for a $1 item.   

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.  (Unless that woman is me… then all bets are off!)

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals… if you make him do it!

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

_______________________________________

I probably won’t be around much for the next week or so… something to do with a WEDDING and visiting friends and relatives, and getting a boy ready to go to scout camp, and oh yeah, a WEDDING.

* Not all wedding dresses cost $5,000. Rapunzel found hers for less than a tenth of that price!
I’m proud of the lovebirds for finding ways to have a beautiful wedding at a fraction of the cost.

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11 thoughts on “Are Men Just Happier People?

  1. I just about fell off my chair with this one.
    Love the comment about the short people living in the house…when our kids were little he would often get their ages wrong!!
    And this one
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    hits WAAAYYY too close to home lately.

    • My kids think it is a fun game to quiz SuperDad on birth dates, ages, and year in school. Until recently, he often flunked this test, so I know exactly what you mean. In fact, that last one about “short people living in the house” is almost word-for-word what my dh used to say in his defense (as if that was defensible)!

  2. Funniest posting I’ve read in a while anywhere! I was reading it Peter and Kevin while we were in the car driving along on vacation, laughing hysterically but they didn’t seem to get it. Anyway, it describes the Rinek men to a tee.

  3. True, the world is our urinal indeed 🙂 plus peeing is fun! You can aim at things, write your name in the snow, shoot for distance or accuracy or BOTH….

  4. Love these. They are so true. 🙂 Hope you guys have a wonderful wedding. I am super busy and won´t be able to comment that often, but I´ll be thinking of you!

  5. These are so true, well, except I will use the garage and the tools therein. Oh how I wish the world was my urinal some days.

    Have a wonderful time at the wedding and with the relatives and take lots of photos to share when you get back.

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