Who do you call?

Glennon from Momastery posed this question recently:

“Who do you call when your parents are gone? Who do people call who don’t have parents waiting to celebrate every tiny and big thing?”

This question got me thinking.
Hard thinking.
Deep Questioning.

Because I don’t have this luxury of calling my parents. My mom has been gone for more than a year now and my dad… well, it’s complicated.. he’s in assisted living and very far away. The telephone is not easy for him or for me. When I want to share something with my dad, I write it in a short letter and mail it to him (preferably with a picture of at least one of his grandchildren).

So the question remains:

Who do you call when you don’t have parents waiting to celebrate every tiny and big thing?


Another thing: If you ever wondered what addiction feels like to an addict, you should go read this post, also from Glennon.

12 thoughts on “Who do you call?

  1. Having lived without my parents for over 25 years as well as having siblings with their own families who live far away, too, I know how difficult that is but you will tell us, your friends, because we delight in hearing good news in a world where there is so much bad news and we will share our good news, as well as the bad, with you because we know you care for us as we care for you!

  2. A sobering thought – especially since my Dad just turned 84… He’s in good health albeit hard of hearing and with failing eyesight and I hope to have him around for many years to come. I agree with Cyndie – friends become the new family when your parents aren’t there any longer… May that day however not come any time soon!

  3. I think that since I got married, sharing with my husband is the most important thing. I love my parents, but I don’t share a lot of things with them –perhaps because of the difficulty of the phone. I have two sisters and a brother, but I’m not close to any of them and don’t have much contact with them. I completely agree that friends become your new family.

  4. Yeah, I don’t “do” phone either. I still have my parents, but once they reached a certain age, I don’t share as much with them. If I have some good news, I would go to my hubby or friends first.

  5. Um, this is a really interesting and difficult question. When I moved out of the house – going to college, it turned out to be year-round full time – I felt that I was independent, except when I got into financial trouble, of course I called my parents. It didn’t happen too often, and the financial help was really limited, but it happened.

    When I visited my parents, I feel like I was still defiant and distanced myself. It wasn’t until I was in my 40s and 50s with a child that I let go of that kind of active distancing.

    And then, I began to feel sad that the bonds between me and my parents wasn’t stronger. Well – you get what you wish for, I guess.

    Dad died in 2002. Mom is now living – safely, cared for, which makes me happy – in Chicago. I try to connect with her as much as possible long distance.

    I wonder about this whole thing, with my own son living far away on another continent.

  6. I cannot tell you how often after my mom died, that I picked up the phone to call her. We generally spoke every day and I miss that. My husband and kids would be my first call and I also have amazing friends, but really, nobody takes the place of your mother.

    That post at Momastery is breathtaking.

  7. Both of my parents are long gone. My sister and I get along well enough but we don’t have the really tight bond sisters should probably should have. Aside from Frank, who generally knows what’s going on with me at any given time, there’s my best friend with whom I’d share most things. But like Jenn said, nobody really replaces a Mom.

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