Light-footed, heavy-hearted

It’s snowing again tonight, wet pelting dots (not flakes) covering the frozen streets. It was slippery driving and I’m grateful for snow tires and front wheel drive.

I was released from the grip of Frankenboot yesterday afternoon, although we’re back to wrapping and taping my toe. I’d stopped doing it because it hurt when I did it — and that couldn’t be good, right? — but it kept swelling up and wasn’t staying straight (trying to hammer toe up again like it’s fellow little toes on that foot). Still, it’s a relief to not have to ZZZZZZIP! ZZZZZZZIP! the straps of velcro (multiply that x5).  My heel has finally made its presence known… which is kind of a bummer because I’d gotten used to it not hurting. I’m not sure if it is the fascia (which was clipped) or the spur that hurts. The doctor had asked about it but I’d never really noticed it until after my final appointment — all pain and annoyance being focused on the toe — so I was kind of surprised to feel it when I no longer had the extra padding of Frankenboot. Hopefully ibuprofen will help.

I’ve been hanging out in a hospital room these past couple of days. A friend is dying. It’s been stated before, but I’ll say it again: I hate cancer.  A brain tumor started it all, but that isn’t what is killing him; the complications, especially the headaches and seizures and infection, have beaten the fight out of him. He is ready to go, even if we are not ready to say goodbye. Thank God for palliative care! I feel blessed to be a part of it, to be able to participate in a supportive network of church family, friends and neighbors.
So we grieve and share and watch him breathing, living life while awaiting death.