We spent quite a bit of time (and by we, I mean I) trying to come up with some way to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. I actually started this process about 6 months ago but began discussing it in earnest after Christmas. We thought perhaps we should go away somewhere and even looked up a resort on the coast where we had spent a few nights of SuperDad’s R&R in January of 2006. Sadly, they had a fire recently that decimated their restaurant (possibly the best clam chowder ever) — added to the long drive, it no longer seemed like such a good idea. We talked about going away overnight, but a place with character (historic hotel or B&B) was going to involve other people at our breakfast table… both here at home, getting kids off to school, and wherever we ended up staying. It was complicated. And apparently we’ve become a pair of stay-at-home introverts.
Finally, we came to the conclusion that we have it pretty good, right here at home. Why go away (and spend money doing so) when we have the house to ourselves after the kids leave for school?
So on March 5th, SuperDad slept in a following the previous day’s 20 km skiing venture up on the mountain. I got the boys off to school, and then the two of us enjoyed our coffee, mimosas, and breakfast on the sofa, looking out the back window at the yard and park beyond the fence. We talked about how much we actually like each other. We made a reservation for one night of our upcoming family trip to Arizona. I cleaned the kitchen and started a load of laundry; my dear husband finished this project as a gift to me.
We finally chose where to hang the new wind chime that he gave me for Christmas (because we know how to make a gift last for two special occasions). I went for a short bike ride and then soaked in the hot tub while he finished working on the cold frame for the garden. After a light lunch, he went for a bike ride while I folded laundry and worked on a beading project.
The day moved with a smooth rhythm — together, apart, and together again — but always with an awareness that it was a special day. We treated each other with a gentle kindness that is sometimes missing in the hurry of daily life of a busy household.
I made supper for the boys and left it on the stove. (Hang on, it will make sense soon.) Then I drove the youngest boy to Karate lessons, locked the door and handed the keys to the minivan over to him to give to his brother, who was walking over from school after track practice and would drive them both home. SuperDad followed within a few minutes to pick me up for our dinner date. We headed to a small Mexican restaurant that we’ve been driving by for the past 18 months. We sat next to each other in the booth as we are wont to do, confounding the server. It was quiet, the food was good, and the margarita was generous.
We actually got home 5 minutes before the boys returned from Karate, but instead of rushing to get their late supper ready, it was already waiting for them on the stove. (See? I told you it would make sense!) I sat with the boys while they ate, chatting with them while I beaded a lanyard. Once their supper dishes were cleared away, I made a batch of Almond-Apricot Biscotti as a gift to my dear husband.
After 25 years of marriage, we know each other pretty well.
Marriage is give and take, time together and time apart. In a way, this day was a celebration of those aspects of marriage. We started and finished with time together, appreciating one another and yet allowing each other the freedom to pursue other interests.
Best of all, after 25 years of married life, we still like each other very much.