Confession: A Messy Heart

Heart of Stone

I’m not quite sure if it is because I have asked God to help me to become more compassionate that I am given opportunities to practice compassion, or if it is because I am desiring to be more like Jesus in the area of compassion that I am more likely to notice opportunities to practice compassion. It’s hard to tell… but either way, I really failed today.

It was a big, noticeable failure. With witnesses.

It doesn’t matter that I was right. Being right doesn’t make it acceptable.
At the time, being right was all that I [my self-righteous Self] was interested in — not mercy, not compassion.

The Scripture quoted below is one upon which I wish to base my life.  Tonight it is both my confession and my hope for a better tomorrow — a tomorrow where I will try to pick up the pieces, make peace, and do better. If my humbleness makes a difference, if mercy and compassion are given and accepted, it won’t be because of me. Part of humility is knowing Who really deserves the credit.

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

~Micah 6:8 (New International Version)

9 thoughts on “Confession: A Messy Heart

  1. You are so human. We are all falling short all the time. But it is OK; we need to make peace with all of who we are, even the parts we are not proud of. You don’t have to beat yourself up or feel guilty. Try, try again.

  2. I suspect that whatever it was, you are more critical of yourself than you would be of someone else.. and more than someone else would be of you. Now matter what it was, we all screw up occasionally and want to take things back to before it happened. From then on, all that counts is what we do with our future choices. Making mistakes is human. Forgiving yourself is important. So is knowing that you’re not alone. Hugs to you.

  3. The way I see it, the only way to avoid failure is to completely not be out in the world attempting to do anything at all. Practicing compassion is damned hard work.Those who know how to lean on the forgiveness of others and themselves (!) are all the more ready for the next go-round of practicing compassion.

  4. I get it wrong every day. Then it’s what Christopher said, we get a chance to do better next time. And we do. We all have messy hearts, but the good news is that we have hearts. Sharing your messy heart like this? Is compassionate, merciful, and like Jesus.

    • Thank you for your vote of confidence. The thing is, I was in my job in the church office when I blew it. The next day, God helped me make things better, but in the meantime He sure taught me a lesson! Oh, and guess what the reading was on that I ended up leading in church on Sunday morning? The 6th commandment, expanded to include Jesus’ teaching on murdering within one’s own heart. So yeah, THAT.

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